Faking It
by Chiri Kushi
Summary: Faking your own death is harder than it looks. Not to mention that scepter to the chest? Hurt like a moth-
1. Chapter 1

**Summary:** Faking your own death is harder than it looks. Not to mention that scepter to the chest? Hurt like a motherfucker.

**Authors Note:** Not another Fandom! So, I'm extremely rusty at writing fanfiction. I've been mostly writing papers for school. I'm not even sure if I'm going to continue this story or leave it as is. I guess that depends on the reaction it gets. Also, if anyone would like to become a beta, hit me up!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything you see here. Also, mistakes are mine so if you see any let me know.

**Faking It**

Agent Philip Coulson is nothing if not a professional, and he'd do anything for the sake of S.H.I.E.L.D and the safety of his country. So pretending to die? It's happened in the past and it will surely happen in the future. As an added bonus, it's always fun waking up in a body bag in the morgue and scaring the shit out of the low level techs. The looks on their faces is always priceless.

Waking up after a six hour surgery to repair the damage after Loki's scepter to the chest? Not as fun, but at least he's waking up. His blurry vision slowly settled on the dark figure in the corner. Nick Fury came into view and Coulson smiled weakly, "How'd we do?"

"The Avengers saved the world. You were right; you were the thing they needed to move into action," Fury said as he gave Coulson a once over, "How's the chest?"

Coulson touched the bandage on his chest lightly, knowing that a scar will be there forever. He also knows that he will receive another purple heart, except this one he'll probably receive posthumously. Which is fine, he hates ceremonies anyway. "It feels like someone stabbed me, but I feel that will go away. I'll heal."

"We are going to have a funeral for you in a couple of days," Fury responds, ignoring the attempt at humor but glad it's there all the same. "This will be a first, isn't it? Actually having a funeral?"

"Normally when we fake my death it's using a serum and I'm back on my feet twelve hours later. No time to plan a funeral," Coulson responds with a shrug and then quick wince as the shrug pulls on his stiches.

Fury looked at Coulson, "I want you to lay low for a while, until the dust settles. Then when the time is right we will let the other agents know you are alive." Fury said as he starts to head to the door. Coulson moves to argue, but is stopped by Fury, "That's an order, Agent Coulson. You did well out there too. Now get better, we need you back at S.H.I.E.L.D."

Coulson nodded, not pleased but too weak to argue, "Yes sir." The door closes before sir leaves his mouth to enter the room, leaving Coulson alone to rest.

Two months after the "Incident" rumors of Agent Coulson's fake death start surfacing at S.H.I.E.L.D, and Agent Barton and Romanov think nothing of it. They've seen Coulson fake his death before, and knew that this was different. They were at the funeral; they know that Coulson is dead.

Its two weeks later before Clint Barton begins to feel like he is going crazy. Especially during one of his training sessions when he turns around to refill his quiver only to see Agent Coulson smiling at him from behind the glass. He does a double take only to see nothing but the glass. He shakes his head and continues his training session.

When Natasha Romanov sees Coulson staring back at her while she's catching up on her field reports, she catches on that the rumors aren't rumors and she goes straight to Director Fury.

"Sir I want to know why I was lied to." She says as she's looking at the glass behind Fury rather than directly at him. She is standing tall with her feet together like a soldier, ignoring the itch to throw her knives at Fury over her anguish.

"Agent Romanov, I don't know what you are talking about," Fury says casually as he looks at Romanov from behind his desk.

"Agent Coulson is alive sir. I saw him today while working on field reports."

"Maybe you were reliving the past?"

"Negative sir; I was writing about Bangladesh," at Fury's look of confusion she explained further, "The trip made after Coulson's 'death.'"

"Ah. Agent-"Fury stopped himself at the look Romanov was giving him. Knowing what he knew about her, he decided to come clean. "Okay, so you know Agent Coulson is alive. He did indeed get injured on the Quinjet, but he didn't die."

"Obviously, Director Fury," she replied snidely.

"Director Fury, if I may?" Coulson said from behind Romanov. Romanov turned to look at Coulson, and Coulson smiles, "Agent Romanov, Director Fury did what he had to do. The Avengers needed a reason to come together. I was merely that reason."

"Then why not let us know after we won?" Romanov asked as her eyes travel back and forth between Coulson and Fury, "Why wait until almost three months later?"

"We wanted the dust to settle, so to speak. I wanted Coulson to heal and I needed you and the rest of the team working on the task at hand."

"But sir-"

"Natasha, it's okay. I'd be pissed to, but we did what we had to do," Coulson said as he placed a hand on her shoulder.

Romanov nodded as her tense body slowly sagged, "How will we tell the others?"

"Leave that to me," Coulson replied with a smile.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary:** Faking your own death is harder than it looks. Not to mention that scepter to the chest? Hurt like a motherfucker.

**Authors Note:** Wow! Thank you so much for the Alerts, Reviews, and Favorites! I'm a little giddy with power! It also motivated me to continue this, so thank you again! I've also already started the next chapter (motivation is a great muse).

This chapter nearly killed my laptop. No, seriously. I was in the middle of typing out the end when my computer decided to shut down to install updates. So not cool. So this is the rewrite and it's not nearly as good as the original, but it'll suffice. I should also mention that trying to get the right amount of Snarky Tony is harder than it looks, so apologies if this Chapter is a tad off Character Wise.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything you see here. Also, all mistakes are mine, so let me know if you see any.

**Faking It**

Tony Stark finds out that Phil Coulson is still alive a few weeks later, by happenstance. All he wanted was to ask Nick Fury about suspicious credit card activity charged to his account. Ever since Fury pulled the wool over the eyes of the World Council, Fury had to find funding for the Avengers Initiate using alternative methods. Tony happily took over the funding and even gave his tower over for the "cause" as long as Iron Man remains an active member; Fury turned a horrible shade of purple but accepted.

Tony walked into S.H.I.E.L.D headquarters with ease that only seems to roll off of him at every given moment. He smiled at the agents as he swiped his level 9 clearance badge at each security checkpoint, almost rubbing in the fact that he has such a high level of clearance. Since he paid for S.H.I.E.L.D's expensive equipment they currently have on floors ten through fifteen- and oh yeah, he's Iron Man- he figures he's given that right to have the clearance AND the gloating privileges.

Strolling into Nick Fury's office uninvited however, has a reverse effect on his ego. Fury glared at Tony as Tony playfully loosens his tie, "Did I catch you at a bad time?" He sits down in one of the chairs in front of Fury. He moves around a bit, adjusting himself to find a comfortable spot only to shake his head and head to the chair next to him.

That one isn't any better, but before he can say anything Fury beats him to it, "As a matter of fact you DID catch me at a bad time. I was about to get my lunch. What do you want, Goldilocks?"

"Aye, Aye, One Eyed Willie," Tony replied casually as he handed over the folder with the credit card charges inside, "I'm glad you got a girlfriend, but can you refrain from using Stark Funding to show her the town? Also JARVIS tells me that there have been a number of unidentifiable activities happening at the Avengers Tower. This has me baffled since the Avenger's Tower is still being remodeled and has the highest level of Security. And I'm the only I can turn off the security measures."

"You're not the only one who can turn on and off the security measures. Remember we had that agreement when we signed the contract for funding," Fury replied with a smile.

Tony ignored the comment, uncomfortable with Fury gaining a win over him. "Oh, so it is a girlfriend then? Well I think I'm going to have to go and introduce myself to her. I hope she's as charming as you," Tony replied as he stood up to leave, "I want those charges paid off without using Stark Funds," the door closed behind Tony leaving Fury to 'get his lunch.'

Fury took a deep breath before picking up his cell phone and speed dialing Coulson, "Code Twenty-Nineteen."

A brief silence enveloped the room before Coulson replied, "Call Miss Potts, it'll be better if I break the news to the two of them together."

Pepper Potts arrived at the Tower at the same time that Tony does. He looked at her car as she opened the door. He stood there with the door to the Tower open, "I thought you were in meetings all day?"

"How would you know? Except oh yeah! You made me go to those meetings for you. Again," she closed her eyes and slowly opened them. She let out a breath as she neared Tony at the entrance, "I don't know what I'm doing here. I just got a call from Nick saying to meet you here and that it's important for you and the Avengers."

Tony tensed when Pepper said Nick, only to shake his head as he motioned for Pepper to go through first, "You have got to stop calling S.H.I.E.L.D agents by their first names."

"Why?" laughed Pepper.

"It's creepy."

"Why is it creepy? I happen to know them as more than their jobs, Iron Man."

"Because it's creepy," Tony reiterated. He continued with his reasoning, "Besides, Nick Fury IS the job, he lives and breathes S.H.I.E.L.D. Besides, I don't know why it's imperative that you are here. I'm just introducing myself to Fury's girlfriend," Tony pauses a moment to let the sentence settle in the air, "That sounded weird."

"Nick has a girlfriend? Why is she in the Tower?"

"Ah, another reason why I'm here- to find out," he swiped his card to enter the first floor lobby. He pulled open the second set of doors and allowed Pepper to enter.

Pepper's brow arched in Tony's direction, "How is Nick's girlfriend getting passed security?"

"Apparently he's been turning off security measures to get her through."

"That's not entirely true, sir," A voice interrupted the conversation between the two. It came from nowhere and yet everywhere at the same time.

Tony, not surprised at the intrusion to the conversation, began talking to thin air, "Ah, JARVIS! Please, tell me why that's not true?"

"Director Fury didn't turn off Security. He merely used the override function."

Tony paused nonplussed at the information, "Sounds like turning off measures to me."

"Fury cloaked his guest so that I can't identify them. If someone else tries to come in though, they wouldn't get into the first floor lobby."

"Well, that's reassuring. Can you tell me where our cloaked guest is hiding, JARVIS?" Tony pulled Pepper towards the elevator. He swiped his security card and the doors dinged as they opened.

JARVIS replied, "Indeed, sir. Our mystery guest is currently on floor forty-one in room 4101." Pepper and Tony walked into the elevator.

Recognition dawned on Tony's face, "Well I'll be damned, that son of a bitch."

"What? I don't understand any of what's going on. I thought floor forty one was living quarters for Avengers and their handlers? And aren't we still fixing that level up for everyone? Wait, do you think Nick chose a handler to replace Phil and that's what this is about? Is this a pissing contest between the two of you? I got to tell you-" Pepper rattled on.

Tony pulled her close to his chest, "Pepper?"

"Yes, Tony?" She breathed. Tony kissed her nose gently. He let her go slowly and pushed the button in the elevator for the forty first floor. A panel opened and a screen popped out asking for biometrics information, and Tony swiped his thumb for confirmation. The doors closed and the elevator car rose swiftly, taking the two to their designated floor.

"No, this isn't a pissing contest between me and Fury. Yes, level forty one is living quarters for the Avengers, and yes we are still fixing them up. No I do not think Fury is replacing Coulson."

"Then wha-"

Tony interrupted her by putting his finger gently over Pepper's lips, in the universal signal for 'shh.' "Let me show you what I've learned in the last ninety seconds." The elevator dinged signaling their arrival to the selected living floor for the Avengers. Pepper followed Tony to the room on the left **4101** on the front. Tony knocked on the door and not too long after the sound of footsteps could be heard from the other side of the door.

The door opened to reveal a casually dressed Coulson. Pepper's eyes widen in shock as Tony breaks out in a shit eating grin. Pepper went to Coulson, pulling him into a hug, "Phil! What? I don't understand. Tony told me you were killed! I went to your funeral, you were dead!"

"I can tell you what happened. Fury is a dick and played with our emotions," Tony said as his grin turned into a glare towards Coulson. He wasn't sure which emotion to feel at the moment. Proud that he figured out the puzzle, anger for being lied to, relief that Coulson was still alive, or all three rolled into one.

Coulson pulled away from Pepper and rubbed his chest lightly, the scar from the stiches still raw. He looked at Tony as the emotions rolling in him began to etch into his facial features, "I know how this looks. How about you and Pepper come in and we will talk about it over tea."

Pepper pulled Tony into Coulson's hallway. Tony looked around at the place face scrunched in disgust, "This is what they did with the place? Horrible! I'm firing everyone tomorrow."


End file.
